MetalHead Thread

[Daniel]

it starts back in Italy

Grumma whats your fave RATM album?

[Grumma]

Twould be Self-titled for sure :p

Classic tracks just as Killing In The Name Of and Wake Up

[Marv From NZ]

Are they even in guitar hero lol?

They indeed are. I'm sorta wondering how it's possible to pull off Gates solo in that song with that thinggy.

[Daniel]

they make it very simple to play lol
though i find its more of a challenge to play some songs on guitar hero than a real guitar

i bought the Self-Titled one ITS AWSUM!!! :D

[Grumma]

haha so that's why you were askin lol

If I knew you were gonna but one I wouldve recommended Live at the Grand Olympic Auditorium

[Daniel]

i bought it and i was wondering if they had a better one as in just seeing which one ud recommend

i really like it

ill prob buy the live one soon

[Grumma]

Ah ok.

Fair enough then :)

[Daniel]

yeah you like the deftones?

[Grumma]

Havent heard a single song :)

[Jake]

Deftones are awesome, their new stuff is just getting better each time I hear it.

Why do you all think of Caliban?

[Marv From NZ]

yeah you like the deftones?

I love the Deftones. White Pony is one of my favourite albums ever. Digital Bath is the perfect song to buzz out to...

[Grumma]

Hmmm.

Listening to the songs on myspace; theyre alright but I dont think I could really get into them

[Liz]

My brother's into this stuff.
Who wants to help Liz with what CD to get him for Christmas?

[Grumma]

Cutting it a bit fine arent we? :p

[Liz]

Huh?
ten characters

[Grumma]

Lets see . . . youve got Friday, Saturday and Sunday to get something :)

Not exactly the greatest amount of time, especially if you factor in forum time as well :p

[Liz]

Oh well. I always leave things to the last minute. :p

[Grumma]

Haha yeah me too.

I'm planning on driving straight from work to a party but odds are I'll be running late for work so wont have enough time to grab clothes or anything so I'll end up havin to come home anyway

[Liz]

So, who wants to help your dear friend Liz?

[Grumma]

Yeah well what does he listen to?

[Liz]

Well, to me it sounds like screaming and fast guitars, but looking at his current CDs, Metallica, Audioslave, Korn, that stuff.

[Grumma]

well if he likes all those 3 you could get him . . .

Hmm no . . . what Metallica cds does he have?

[Liz]

He has Kill Em All, Black Album and Ride The Lightning.
I reckon that's all.

[Grumma]

Ah k.

Get him Master of Puppets then :)

Or the Kerrang! Master of Puppets revisited thing (or whatever it was called)

[Liz]

Alrighty then.
Thank you very much. :)

[Grumma]

The best way to go about gettin cds is to find a band they like and get them a cd of that band that they dont have :)

Alternatively you could always get him The Crusade cos thats similar to Metallica. But I'd go MoP to be safe(r)

[Marv From NZ]

Pfft don't get The Crusade it's the biggest rip off of Metallica ever. You wan't the real deal, so you should get him Pantera - Cowboys From Hell.

[Grumma]

*sigh*

You have no idea how many times that first line has been said. It's like a bad hip hop song!

[Liz]

I'll get him whatever I can find.

[Marv From NZ]

*sigh*

You have no idea how many times that first line has been said. It's like a bad hip hop song!

Mate i'm only telling the truth. It is and you know it.

[Grumma]

No I dont. How can you say Becoming The Dragon or This World Cant Tear Us Apart sound remotely like Metallica?

All Trivium's songs have melodic choruses; Im yet to hear a Metallica song that uses one

[Jawn]

what? a lot of Metallica songs has a melody to them. If it didn't you couldn't sing along to it.

[Jake]

The S&M CD of Metallica shows just how sing-along-able they are. Amazing stuff there.

Liz, you could look at getting your brother something like InMe - Overgrown Eden or Caliban - The Opposite from Within. The latter would probably be more to his taste.

[Grumma]

Matt Barlow in his Iced Earth days:
http://myspace-019.vo.llnwd.net/01154/91/05/1154315019_l.jpg

And Matt Barlow now . . .


















http://myspace-804.vo.llnwd.net/01118/40/80/1118880804_l.jpg

[cdejonge]

Matt Barlow in his Iced Earth days:
http://myspace-019.vo.llnwd.net/01154/91/05/1154315019_l.jpg haha, looks like Chaz's friend Captain Red-beard.

[Grumma]

Cept Barlow is a Metal God turned Police Officer :p

[Grumma]

For Neo:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ysHLP3RWmo

[Grumma]

Badass :cool:

http://a786.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/41/l_dc2976c64782af8c7980957c9e233e81.jpg
http://a98.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/2/l_396eeea4d6ed20d6ac799926b52e2879.jpg
http://a185.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/41/l_d9feec09f5688d8849d7028686b2b978.gif

[Marv From NZ]

Just when i thought it couldn't get any more silly... Trivium wearing spartan uniforms! ROFL!

[Grumma]

It's still pretty cool regardless :p

[Grumma]

lol Spot the difference:

http://i.tvspielfilm.de/img/gen/7/9/287947_Pxgen_r_360x240.jpg

http://www.demonlux.de/mattbar.jpg

[Marv From NZ]

There is none! They're both incredibly ugly creatures! :p

[Grumma]

haha it's uncanny!

Except now Barlow has next to no hair and is a police officer :p

[Marv From NZ]

If i was ginger i'd shave my head aswell!

[Grumma]

Haha I'd put tips through it at the very least :p

[Grumma]

Metal as Fuck

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chiVMrWMHko

[Johnny_Wah]

Wow. That's actually pretty good for metal. Trivium aren't bad either;) just dont tell anyone

[Grumma]

And who says metal is just about playing fast and loud?

Blind Guardian - The Bard's Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEsyNgO7kmw)

[Evil Chris]

but thats the only metal I like fast and loud = good.

[Grumma]

This is what Metal is about:

Polaris (http://www.mp3.com.au/artist.asp?ID=18610)

[Grumma]

Some good thrash bands amongst these

http://www.trivium.org/board/index.php?s=&showtopic=9511&view=findpost&p=353015

[Armistice]

Badass :cool:

http://a786.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/41/l_dc2976c64782af8c7980957c9e233e81.jpg

I have that with the mag it came with

Anyone mention Children of Bodom? I like them.

[Grumma]

Children of Bodom arent bad.

From what I've heard they're a little slow for my liking and as great as Laiho's guitar playing is I dont like his singing

[Jake]

I love Children of Bodom - they're amazing. Laiho's vocals are perfect, and the shredding and riffs are so sick. Hate Crew Deathroll is probably my favourite album of theirs, although their new one is pretty close. Needled 24/7 is the best song to listen to the morning after heavy drinking..

[Tyler_who]

I don't know if they've been mentioned yet but has anyone heard Hatebeak i think it was called. There lead singer is a parrot.

[Armistice]

Children of Bodom arent bad.

From what I've heard they're a little slow for my liking and as great as Laiho's guitar playing is I dont like his singing

Slow?! Man they fly!

Yah, I have a mix CD of songs off all their albums (except Are You Dead Yet?) and all the lyrics are screaming. AYDY? is better vocal-wise I think

[Grumma]

As I said: from what I've heard/

Recommend me some songs and I'll listen

[Jake]

Needled 24/7
Triple Corpse Hammerblow
Bed of Razors
In Your Face
Next In Line

A few to get you started.

[Armistice]

Anything off Are You Dead Yet?

Here's my mix CD tracklist(all off seperate albums). All good songs:

Hellion
Deadnight Warrior
Follow the Reaper
Wrath Within
Bed of Razors
Black Widow
Mask of Sanity
Taste of my Scythe
Lake Bodom
Everytime I Die
Touch Like Angel of Death
Warheart
Downfall
Kissing the Shadows
Angels Don't Kill
Children of Decadence

[Jake]

In Your Face or Are You Dead Yet? are probably the best from their latest I Reckon.

[Grumma]

Triple Corpse Hammerblow gets a +ve review cos of the epic intro, but I still dont like Laiho's vocals. If he sung in his cleaner range (which reminds me a lil of Rob Flynn from Machine Head) more of the time I'd like em alot better. It also gets +1 cos of the AMV vid that I watched with it on YouTube lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKfHhs5BJ-s

Needled 24/7 is alright but the transition from the thrash intro to the power metal and then the quieter/calmer part isnt my thing

Next in Line: first vocals parts are a lil slow; and Im not a fan of the more sludgy riffs. Probs my least fave of the songs I listened to

Bed Of Razors (live vid on YouTube): they get an instant positive cos they sound good live (even if the keyboard volume is pretty high. This song provides a good example of me saying they're "too slow" (the same reason I cant REALLY get into Pantera

In Your Face: like the intro, especially keyboards, despite lack of speed. Just drags on a bit. Tis alright; I just dont like stop start vocals. Overall a pretty good thrashy epic sound

Overall:
Music style 4/5: Gotta love power metal mixed with thrash. The keyboards are an added bonus as well
Instruments 3.5/5: Dont know much about the others but Laiho is pretty damn good at what he does.
Song writing 3/5: along with the vocals probably the greatest reason I cant get into em
Desire to play that style of music 4.5/5: yep could definitely see myself in a band playing a similar brand of music
Overall sound 3/5: dont like the sound of the guitars. Theyre just . . . dunno. not quite there. Also cant stand the screaming/growling stuff that comes out of Laiho's mouth

[Grumma]

If you like CoB you'll like Norther
www.myspace.com/norther

[Burner]

Look again my friend.

Anyway my favourite metal groups include:

Iron Maiden (NWOBHM)
Judas Priest (NWOBHM)
Iced Earth (Thrash/Power Metal)
Trivium (Metalcore pre-Crusade and now Thrash)

I didn't know Iced Earth was power metal, nor did i know Trivium was metalcore. God i hate categorisation. If i had to choose then it'd be mostly Thrash metal, bit of death metal and a bit of other metal i don't know what to call.

[Grumma]

Trivium were Metalcore on Ember To Inferno and Ascendancy; The Crusade was almost purely Thrash Metal.

Iced Earth have lots of power metal traits eg fantasy themed lyrics, high pitched vocals, double bass drumming. But at the same time they've got a heavier atmosphere (which is where the Thrash comes from )

[Burner]

I guess i wouldn't know What Trivium are because i don't know what this 'metalcore' shit is. I know The Crusade was pretty thrash. Either way i think they are pretty kick ass. Same with Iced Earth. ESPECIALLY Burnt Offerings. I listen to it many times.

[Grumma]

Yeah well Burnt Offerings is probably closer to Power Metal then any other Iced Earth cd before Tim Owens joined. Pretty much anything where the drums consists of 2 bass drums just playing like this RLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRL with the hands playing something simple can be constituted as power metal eg the song Burnt Offerings

[Burner]

I still can't get over the fact that people think its power metal. Dragonforce = Power metal. Burnt Offerings is completely different in every way!

[Grumma]

DragonForce are an extreme of power metal . .. You probably need to listen to a wide variety of the genre to get what I mean

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iced_Earth

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_metal#American_power_metal

As far as Power metal bands go:
Imperanon
Immortal Souls
Wizard
Stratovarius
Rhapsody
Lord

I'd even consider the Trivium song "sworn" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sirrqn2j9eI) to be power metal

[Burner]

Alot more Power metal than what i actually listen to. I don't really dig Inhuman Rampage as much as Burnt Offerings (but then BO had got to be top 5 fav albums i own) but i still give it a spin.

[Grumma]

Yeah I wouldnt take DragonForce as a good reference point to Power Metal.
Theyre almost too . .. well good if you get what I mean

[Burner]

Well not really! lol! Incredibly technical and intricate soloing happening though.

[Grumma]

Well when I meant good I meant at their instruments.
They're too full on to be considering proper Power Metal.

[Jake]

I've pretty much gone off power metal in the past year or so, but I am still enjoying 'Into Eternity'. It's not as hard and fast as Dragonforce, but pretty decent.

Grumma, Norther are awesome, I love 'em.

[Grumma]

Their cover of Final Countdown is pretty good :p

[Grumma]

www.myspace.com/suidakra

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qz8EfkS4KK0
One of the better film clips Ive seen to be sure

[fordchick888]

Interesting read for all the metal heads out there....article from today on The Age website

pretty long, but if anything make sure you read the end where they compare the different metal genres, hilarious

Noise Pollution.....

You Don't Know What It's Like

In praise of \m/ METAAAALLL!!! \m/


There is a 24-hour "Savings Brand 7-11" around the corner from our house called the Convenience 24-7; we call it the inconvenience store. On a recent "home duties" excursion, frazzled already by various work stresses and trying to get all my chores done in a break between appointments, I made the mistake of leaving my life in the inconvenience store's hands.
Coffee machine? Out of order? Ice-cream cabinet? Out of order. Slush Puppy machine? Out of order. ATM? Out of order. Business as usual. I handed a $5 note to the cashier and asked for some dollar coins for the Laundromat (which is just down the road, so this is standard practice). "Oh, I'm sorry, I am only allowed to give out four-dollars in coins at any time; manager's orders."

So, after I offered my response ("...") to her lack-of-service with a smile, I went home and did the only thing that seemed like a reasonable way of dealing with the injustice of the situation: I listened to some motherf--king metal.

However, in introducing my love of metal by way of its helping me avoid doing this or this or this to the inconvenience store proprietor, am I just perpetuating the same-old-same-old myths about all metalheads being violent, good-for-nothing psychos?

I hope not, because I listen to metal when I'm happy, sad, contemplative and industrious. (Raining Blood is also excellent cleaning music.) I am as excited about seeing Slayer and Mastodon as I recall being about seeing Spice Force: The Australian Spice Girls Experience in Geelong in 1998 (and that was: PRETTY BLOODY EXCITED).

And yet metal remains at best misunderstood and at worst derided by most music fans and critics, who think it's all a bunch of dungeons-and-dragons cobblers and that it hurts their ears. Yes, there are still people out there who think that metal fans eat kittens and worship Satan (though the metal community must be glad that the Tipper Gores et al of the world are currently busy shining their spotlight of scapegoat-ism on rap and hip hop).

This has always puzzled me, as metal fans have always struck me as the most personable of any musical subculture. When I was DJing at gigs more regularly, I eventually worked out a pattern:

Indie/pop/"new rock" gigs = righteous snobs who would tell me what I was playing was shit, blow smoke in my direction, talk during the bands (or worse, sit on the floor), spill their drinks on my records, etc.

Metal gigs = non-stop party until 4am that usually included massed sing-alongs of Angel Of Death and/or Ace Of Spades, thoughtful conversations on the topic of David Lee Roth, no rolling of eyes when Cherry Pie was played, etc. Once there was even an entire air band "playing" in the midst of the dancefloor; two guitars, bass and drums.

Of course there are dickheads in the metal community, just as there are everywhere else, but the hostility towards and/or fear of metal baffles me to this day. Worse still are the people who say "oh, it all sounds the same". The same as what, f--king awesome? People talk about how exciting My Generation or Come As You Are were; how can you hear Angel Of Death or Breaking The Law and not crap yourself with giddy abandon?

With the possible exception of certain classical symphonies, throughout my various journeys through music I have decided that there is no more cathartic genre than metal and all of its subgenres (well, except for nu-/emo-/rap-metal, or as Observer Music Monthly's Andy Capper puts it, "the ones with a DJ and whose singer got abused by his dad, so the lyrics are about being bullied at school and cutting yourself", because they're pants).

At best I would say I am a metal enthusiast; I'm nowhere near close to being an expert and have a jackdawish collection of various metal bands that I like. There's a fair swag of prototypical stuff, all the NWOBHM highlights, a whole heap of '80s thrash, some later doom, and a few bits and pieces in between; I also like the grey areas where thrash melds to grind and black turns to camp.

In my 'regularly listened to' bin you'll find Slayer, Black Sabbath, Megadeath, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Cannibal Corpse (LOLOL), etc. Locally I like Blood Duster and The Blacklist.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I wouldn't know where to start in sifting through the miasma of bands currently peddling the genre, but I rarely hear a new metal track (or an old one for the first time) and don't get some kind of kick out of it. (I would also recommend Essi Berelian's fun if occasionally light-on - but Bruce Dickinson approved! - Rough Guide To Heavy Metal as required reading for the enthusiastic beginner.)

So, I'm throwing the floor open to my fellow - and more learned - metalheads. What are your hot tips and all-time-classics? Do your neighbours think you eat babies? What is your chosen subgenre? Two-handed tapping or divebombs - or both? Or, if you don't like metal, why not?

And finally, for some Friday fun courtesy of the internet (and if anyone knows what wit actually birthed it, I would like to shake both their hands):

"Metal Sub-Genres Explained:
The story is, there's a beautiful princess trapped in a castle guarded by a dragon. This is how the story would play out, depending on the metal genre of the knight:

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and f--ks her.

HEAVY / CLASSIC METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and f--ks the princess.

FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave without the princess.

VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, f--ks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL: The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, and drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads its guts in front of the castle, f--ks the princess and kills her. Then he f--ks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he f--ks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and f--ks it for the last time.

DOOM: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESSIVE (PROG) METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives at the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year at the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist."
:D

[Grumma]

I've seen all the sub-genre explanations before.

Though it was quite amusing to see him spell Megadeth incorrectly :p

I'm also proud to say I knew every song/band he mentioned :cool:

[fordchick888]

A chick wrote it. BTW if you want a laugh go to the article on the age and read other people's comments on the article, some are funny as!

[Kylie eats dugong for tea]

she is SO right about the metal gigs VS the indie gigs though. THE ACE OF SPAAADES.

[Kylie eats dugong for tea]

can you post the link here? I can't find the article...i got distracted and starting reading the eric bibb article instead.

[fordchick888]

http://blogs.theage.com.au/music/archives/2007/03/you_dont_know_w.html

[Grumma]

love the person who mentioned Count Crishnov (sp?) of Burzum

[Grumma]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varg_Vikernes

that's the dude

[Grumma]

bump cos metal's awsome

[Kylie eats dugong for tea]

is anyone going to arcturus?

[Grumma]

EBuig g hrGUIPWRnjGoif HW47HTPWgnv dahiugh3wahtuw4utyg78oaerhviEOBYR8w2hgp hW


Arcturus are playing in Melbourne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????

:eek:

[Neo]

EBuig g hrGUIPWRnjGoif HW47HTPWgnv dahiugh3wahtuw4utyg78oaerhviEOBYR8w2hgp hW


Arcturus are playing in Melbourne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????

:eek:
One of the dudes was just on triple j. Sat 31st at the Espy i think.

[Grumma]

I shall look into it.

They're such a weird-arse band; it's great ^_^

[Kylie eats dugong for tea]

wow, grumma. You're such a n00b.

[Grumma]

The best song by the band that created the NWOBHM movement which included the great Iron Maiden (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGmgEg8nL7s)

[Grumma]

What's the most important thing about being in a Metal band?
Being able to play your songs live:

Iced Earth - the coming curse (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFcN6wMZjwY)

Iced Earth - travels in stygian (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUvNMunHtN8)

[Evil Chris]

Want to know what Matt Barlow is up to now?

Click here: http://www.pyramaze.com/

Yeah, he's rejoined the metal scene as the new lead singer of Power Metal band "Pyramaze"

I can tell Grumma's gonna flip.

And Look at him now:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/99/MattBarlowPyramaze2007.jpg/180px-MattBarlowPyramaze2007.jpg

[Johnny_Wah]

Was he the guy from Iced Earth that went cop?

[Evil Chris]

Yes. texthere

[Grumma]

I've known this for a fortnight :p

And they're prog metal not power metal

[Evil Chris]

Good for them

[Grumma]

Well at least get yo facts straight :p

[Evil Chris]

I just read somewhere that their power. Eh, they could be a mix. But if you mix power and progressive, wouldn't that merge into thrash?

[Grumma]

No not really.

But if you mix power and thrash you get Iced Earth :p

Power+prog = progressive power metal.

So pretty much it's power metal with weird time sig's etc

[worry_rock]

I got to meet Stone Sour earlier today. Rararararr, I am so cool. Roy (formerly of Soulfly) is so adorable! But we didn't get to talk to Corey because he got stolen away before our very eyes to do an interview for Nova.

[Burner]

Dam you. Dam you to hell!

[Grumma]

I can think of better bands I'd like to meet :p

[Grumma]

101 Rules of Power Metal
1. You have one goal: be epic.
2. Let no sound be lonely. If there’s a guitar solo, harmonize it. If there’s singing, make it a choir.
3. Keyboards offer a way to add thousands of different textures to a song. Find two of those that you like and use them on every song you write.
4. In a power metal world, everything steel is good, and anything good must be compared to steel.
5. You are not bound to sing about Satan, evil, and/or darkness.
6. You are bound to sing about dragons, freedom, and/or power metal.
7. Remember how no sound should be alone? Same goes for albums. Everything can have a sequel!
8. You are allowed to be blonde.
9. Swords enhance your credibility and your performance. Be sure to carry one regardless of whether or not you know anything about using one.
10. Pick a theme and stick to it. Manowar are warriors of true metal, and they don’t get to sing about anything else. Rhapsody has their Algalord chronicles. HammerFall has their steel, hammers, and templar. Running Wild has pirates. Blind Guardian has Tolkein. None of them are allowed to sing about anything else.
11. If you have to sing about something else, put together a side project to do it. Avantasia is the perfect model.
12. Ballads are permissible.
13. That doesn’t mean your ballads can suck.
14. The longer a song is, the more epic it is. See rule #1.
15. More solos means more epic.
16. If at all possible, be Michael Kiske.
17. If this is not possible, pretend to be Michael Kiske.
18. Your album cover should include at least one of the following: fire, steel, weird glowing magical items, irregularly muscular men, fists thrust into the air, weaponry, magic creatures (preferably dragons), or bright beams of light around somebody/something.
19. ‘Grim’ and ‘necro’ don’t apply here; they just make you look silly. Now go back to singing your 20 minute epic about dragonslaying!
20. Power metal depends on power chords.
21. 16th notes are the only notes.
22. Unless you’re singing, in which case you are not permitted to hold a note for any less than 2 bars.
23. Keyboards get solos, too.
24. If you can’t be Michael Kiske, you can at least be Timo Tolkki.
25. Actually, don’t be Timo Tolkki.
26. In case you didn’t know, “symphonic” is synonymous with “epic.” See rule #1.
27. Just because 300 bands before you have already done “epic,” there’s always room for more.
28. Songs come in two tempos: metal and ballad.
29. You are officially the only group of people who can refer to themselves as ‘mighty’ without being laughed at. Much.
30. Audiences need to be able to sing along. Make it catchy.
31. Sing in English, even though your fan-base will be comprised entirely of Brazilians, Germans, Japanese, Swedes, and Finns. See rule #30: if it’s not catchy, it’s harder to sing in a language that is not your first.
32. Play in as many bands as possible. More side projects and guest appearances means more epic!
33. Tight. Pants.
34. You don’t have to detune your guitars.
35. Though you probably should drop them a half-step.
36. Unfortunately, you need at least two guitar players. How else are you going to have dueling guitar solos?
37. Keyboards may substitute for one guitar player, as long as they can solo.
38. Fortunately, you don’t need a bass player! Or at least, you never have to use the same bassist twice.
39. Begin all songs with one big swelling chord on the keyboard.
40. Acoustic guitars are allowed. Sometimes.
41. It’s not a tour, it’s a crusade!
42. Layer your vocals, hundreds upon hundreds of times. Don’t worry about them live.
43. Never use mundane words in your lyrics. Nothing is epic if you don’t use words like “majesty,” “glorious,” “magical,” and so on.
44. Wizards! You need wizards!
45. Although your costume does not require corpse paint, it will require a cape, lots of jewelry, and the aforementioned swords.
46. Unless you are Manowar, in which case you are too metal for clothing.
47. Come to think of it, don’t be Manowar.
48. Wear armor if at all possible. HammerFall can give you an idea of the variety of acceptable armors, ranging from leather to ring-mail.
49. Songs don’t begin at full speed. Gradually work your way into an epic frenzy.
50. Hail true metal!
51. Acoustic guitars are for intros and bridges. Then crush them with steel.
52. Epic. Tight. Pants.
53. Higher vocals are epic vocals. Female lead singers are great for this.
54. So, male lead singes should sound like female singers. See rule #52.
55. True warriors can tell the difference between albums.
56. Concept albums are totally epic. Nobody will ever see it coming.
57. Liner notes must include pages of backstory, either of your epic saga of conquest over dragons and evil or of your epic battles with alcoholism while recording the album.
58. Drugs aren’t metal.
59. Beer, however, can be served in all kinds of true metal ways.
60. “Flagons of ale.” It’s appropriate to your fantasy-riddled lyrics, and it almost looks like “dragons,” so you score extra points.
61. Since you can’t get away with grunts, growls, and other troll-like noises, you will have to sing.
62. Your accent will show as a consequence.
63. To compensate, sing about killing trolls. Preferably with the swords that you carry onstage.
64. More sequels = more epic. See rule #7.
65. Guest vocalists, guest guitarists, and any special appearances from outside your band will make your sound more epic, even if the track sounds just like all the other songs on the album with an extra solo.
666. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! Rahhh!!!
67. Begin songs at half-tempo, and then, when listeners least expect it (i.e. at exactly the same time it happens in all your other songs) kick into full speed complete with double-bass and power chords.
68. Bass players: one note. Really fast.
69. But include one enormous crazy-*** bass fill before the chorus, even though the production will bury you so far in the mix that most people won’t realize your band has a bass player.
70. Just because you don’t play black metal doesn’t mean you can’t use Tolkein.
71. Whenever you short of ideas, pick up your Dungeons and Dragons books. You might as well be the first band to sing about owlbears.
72. Never leave Europe.
73. For purposes of rule #72, Japan may be counted as part of Europe.
74. Oh, and South America was colonized by Europeans, so it can count too.
75. Orchestras make a great addition to your album. Since you can’t afford one, find a new patch on your keyboard.
76. If your live album does not have the crowd singing all the harmony parts for you, you aren’t epic enough to justify a live album.
77. If you are European, use as many archaic English words in your lyrics as you can. Obfuscation is epic!
78. If you are South American, your lyrics should be closer to standard English, though nobody will ever read them.
79. If you are U.S. American, you probably aren’t actually a power metal band. Sing about tanks, or something.
80. If you are Italian, write some lyrics in Latin. Your American fans won’t be able to tell the difference between your Italian lyrics and your Latin ones, but Latin is epic.
81. Remember, shaving is epic, haircuts are not.
82. Entire albums must be recorded in the same key.
83. For that matter, entire careers may also be recorded in the same key.
84. Guitarists, remember: dun da-da dun da-da dun da-da…
85. Make your band logo very angular, but perfectly legible.
86. More than a logo, you need a mascot.
87. He need not be distinguishable from Eddie, but he does need to be on all your album covers.
88. At your first gig, if you feel a “rising force,” do be sure not to get it all over your audience.
89. Record your best songs unplugged, and sell them as an EP.
90. Do not expect anyone to buy the EP.
91. Remember, power metal fans are not gay. They are just comfortable with their masculinity.
92. Sing along.
93. Don’t get caught singing along.
94. Glitter is not epic.
95. Neither is body oil. See rule #47.
96. If you see a black metaller in the woods pretending to be a troll, see rule #9 and rule #63.
97. In your liner notes, thank everybody you toured with, even if they’re Stratovarius.
98. Complain about Stratovarius constantly even though you’ve bought all their albums and listen to them more than anything else in your collection.
99. Power metal must be pure; do not mix it with other metal styles.
100. To repeat: be epic.
101. I ran out of funny things to say way back at rule #52, but any less than 101 rules would so not be epic.

[Grumma]

The Epic Sequel to the 101 Rules of Power

1. Denim and leather went out with Saxon. Silk and steel is the new thing.
2. If you do mix genres, power metal is still the dominant type. (e.g. blackened power metal) This is largely because power metal is infinitely more epic than the others styles, but also because “empowered” death metal just sounds stupid.
3. Not everyone in the world is fortunate enough to have a couch to slay. Sing a mighty hymn of remembrance for these brave souls before you leap into battle with your furniture.
4. Even if you don’t know anything about international politics, you can still write stories about the international relations of magical kingdoms.
5. By “international relations,” I mean “war.” Nobody wants majestic steel anthems about trade embargoes.
6. When giving interviews, be sure to mention that your musical influences include Thor.
7. Openly religious themes are generally a bad idea. Writing extremely vague songs about ‘destiny,’ ‘fate,’ ‘time,’ and other such metaphysics is a much better way to go.
8. Re-release your entire catalogue with a new bonus track in Japan. Then make everyone else pay three times as much for an album they already have for the one B-side and the cover of a Helloween song.
9. If you covered a Helloween song from “Pink Bubbles Go Ape” or “Chameleon,” please do the world a favor and die.
10. Fireworks are epic. Be sure to refer to them as “Dragon’s Breath” or “The Great Flame of Dirty Laundry Smiting.”
11. A note on fireworks: don’t get yourself set on fire like James Hetfield. True metal warriors can play with fire without getting burned.
12. Include as many vowels in your name as possible. Ideally, it will be the same name as the magical kingdom you sing about.
13. Gettysburg was not a magical kingdom. Shame on you, Jon Schaffer!
14. Naming your band Spinefarm, Nuclear Blast, or Steamhammer will not get you a contract. It will, however, get you plenty of internet traffic.
15. And a cease and desist letter.
16. Or a copyright infringement lawsuit.
17. They would make great album titles or stage names. “On bass, the legendary thundering giant of mighty low-end music, Steamhammer!”
18. Promo photos come in two types: standing around in T-shirts looking sullen, or basking in the glorious light of the universe holding swords up high, dressed in robes fit for a king.
19. Music videos should be shot in the snow.
20. You should also be shot in the snow for making such crappy music videos.
21. If this proves problematic, just record the band playing the song in a warehouse, forest, or room full of water.
22. Why do you play? For the king, for the land, for the mountains, for the green valleys where dragons fly, for the glory, the power to win over the dark lord!
23. Not to mention the right to write an album based on a crappy 80’s fantasy movie. Why isn’t “Willow” a five disc series yet?
24. Sonata Arctica is not “ice metal.” Power metal is the mightiest descriptor that can be bestowed upon a band; there’s no need to thin the blood by making up a new subgenre.
25. ESP and Jackson will provide your guitars.
26. Gotcha! Like anybody’s actually going to sponsor you…
27. Never change. A sequel should be sonically identical to its predecessor.
28. Step one: loincloths.
29. Step two: mountains.
30. Step three: live like barbarians in the wilderness. Get in touch with nature, kill to eat, and let the power of the dragonflame burn in your heart!
31. If you actually DO feel the power of the dragonflame burning in your heart, I’d recommend Tums.
32. Narration is a great way to fill in those parts of your epic saga that are better expressed in prose than in song.
33. Hire a competent narrator, though… nobody has yet, except for Rhapsody finally wising up to hire Christopher Lee.
34. No, Christopher Lee will not work on your album, too. Level up a few times, and maybe then.
35. Iron Maiden is the father.
36. DragonForce is the Son.
37. Tolkien is the Holy Ghost.
38. Trigger your drums, unless you are a man-sized Speedy Gonzalez. (I would make a joke about Speedy Gonzalez explaining why all the Brazilians are in power metal bands, but then I’d sound like an ethnocentric jerk. Remember, kids, true warriors come in all colors, sexes, and magical species.)
39. Play everything really fast because it's more epic. DragonForce, therefore, is the most epic band possible.
40. Think of some epic sounding name for your genre like '+1 Extreme Operatic Dragonslaying Symphonic Melodic Epic Heavy Hollywood Power Metal of the Mighty War Gods of Finland.'
41. You are definitely not plain 'power metal.'
42. Hansi is God.
43. Singers aren’t allowed balls unless they are Hansi, because he is God.
44. You must sing; they don't have rap in Middle Earth and real elves don't growl.
45. Orcs, however, make excellent guest vocalists to fill in the growling niche.
46. Make sure you have Stratovarius, Helloween and Iron Maiden listed as your influences.
47. Listen to Nightfall in Middle Earth every day.
48. Watch your Lord of the Rings DVDs at least once a week.
49. If you watch all the extended editions back to back, you can consider yourself epic. And unemployed.
50. Read Lord of the Rings every month or two.
51. AND the Silmarillion.
52. For your English literature class, write your final thesis paper as a comparison between Tolkein and Blind Guardian’s interpretation of his works.
53. Make sure everyone thinks you are gay. Armor, loincloths, and face-paint (NOT corpse-paint) all add a lot to this. For the ideal model, find some pictures of Ronnie James Dio, the mightiest man in the history of metal.
54. You are definitely NOT gay.
55. Irrelevant to whether you're gay or not (which you aren't) you fancy Tuomas Holopanien AND Tarja Turunen.
56. Love songs are acceptable, but it has to be epic love which involve deaths and hopefully dragons and/or demons.
57. You cannot have songs about sex, that's just not epic.
58. Oceanborn was so much better than Once.
59. High pitched screams are allowed, but they are epic battlecries.
60. Don't ever make decent music videos.
61. All your fans want you to make decent music videos with battle scenes.
62. They will always be disappointed, although they will appreciate the gesture of including a forty-foot tall inflatable dragon to your stage props.
63. Frilly shirts ARE metal.
64. Though not as metal as chainmail.
65. You can't afford chainmail so use grey fabric mesh you bought from a fetish shop.
66. Your stage wardrobe should exude an attitude of “tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1599.”
67. Draw no distinctions between your stage personality and your normal life. While carrying around your sword in public might draw an uncomfortable amount of attention, it will be great publicity for your new album, “Orgul Silverleaf, Orc Hunter: the Epic Quest, Volume XIII.”
68. Fast is mighty, so double kick pedals to exaggerate the speed of your music wouldn't go astray.
69. There is no speed limit in power metal. It's even mightier to start off slow and then kick it to overdrive!
70. Sit at your computer for hours on end drawing up lists of the rules of power metal. It’s a guaranteed chick magnet, even if you’re female.
71. Constantly buy new albums on Ebay. Imports and international CDs are better, because even though the bands all sound the same, a CD is simply more epic if it has one extra track.
72. You don’t have a fan club, you have an army.
73. No, seriously. They’ve all got swords, too.
74. The band that slays together, stays together. Unless you slay each other. But that’s OK, because Varg doesn’t play power metal.
75. Tastelessly interrupt your subdued ballad with an obnoxiously loud and completely unrestrained guitar solo. What would kill the song in other genres is necessary here to wake up metalheads who fell asleep while you were singing about stalking your ex-girlfriend with your +2 Camcorder of Invisibility.
76. Your album ought to max out the holding capacity of a CD. You haven’t given enough glory to your king unless you have composed a 78-minute epic in his honor.
77. If you find that you can’t compose almost eighty minutes of blistering solos and testicle-wrenching harmonies, then you can leave an inexplicable pause of nothing at the end of the CD.
78. For the king, for the land, for the mountains, for the green valleys where dragons fly, for the glory the power to win the dark lord, you will search for the emerald sword.
79. Never tour in the US.
80. Claim that you never tour the US because of passport problems, when we all really know that you just don’t want to be anywhere close to the nation that produced Garth Brooks.
81. Make sure that your band is, for the most part, really only one person who happens to have other people who play his music. Your models, as always, ought to be Luca Turilli and Timo Tolkki.
82. Don’t be Timo Tolkki.
83. Never produce decent merchandise. Your logo looks cool on albums, but your shirts all look like crap.
84. Women sing. They are not allowed to have any other roles in the band. This is rather unfortunate, as they are the only people in the band who would actually look GOOD with long hair.
85. If you run out of ideas around this point, rehash your first composition.
86. When attending a power metal concert, please check your sword at the door.
87. After enough beer, “Breakfast with Cthulhu” actually does sound like a good idea for a concept album.
88. Ümläuts improve your credibility. Do your best to be born in a country where they are a standard part of your alphabet.
89. Liner notes must either include original artwork, or photos of your guitarist looking like a jackass onstage.
90. Some bands are ambiguously power metal, and instead get categorized as ‘speed metal’ or plain old ‘heavy metal.’ While you may enjoy them, if they can’t be shameless and unabashed power metallers, then they may not join you on your camping trip.

[Grumma]

. . . continued . . .

91. And by ‘camping trip’ I mean “running around in the woods with swords while singing your battlecries and hoping to find an elf.”
92. Think “family friendly.” Don’t swear, and please refrain from eating your bandmates. See rule #74.
93. Have an intro track. This means “one minute of keyboards that gradually get louder.”
94. Instrumental tracks should be limited to one per album. This is primarily because they do not advance your storyline very much, unless your Nordic warrior has to prove himself in a yodeling contest against the dark lord, in which case you really need to write a new story.
95. If you’re desperate for an extra B-side, cover an Iron Maiden song.
96. If you’re VERY desperate for an extra B-side, cover a Scorpions song.
97. Two-disc sets are epic. Unfortunately, it’s usually very difficult for both discs to be good.
98. If you have doubts about one of your friends being a true warrior, ask him to name every project that Alex Holzwarth has played for. If your friend cannot successfully name them all, begin your epic quest in search of all the discs to save your friend from being trapped in an evil dimension devoid of power metal.
99. If you mom walks in on you applying your facepaint while wearing a loin-cloth and a cape, I really can’t offer you any help, dude.
100. I still think I ran out of funny things to say back on the other list.
101. You should be proud of your mighty followup, particularly when it is also 101 rules long. Take great pride in the accomplishment, especially because this time there were guest artists involved.

BONUS RARE B-SIDE RULE ONLY AVAILABLE IN JAPAN!
102. Record your live album in Japan, because, honestly, where in the hell [quote]


I lol at #13 in this list

[May]

You ran out of funny things to say before you started, but it's metal you're talking about so it doesn't matter anyway...

[Grumma]

Should definitely be added to the list ;)

[worry_rock]

Just thought I'd share my photo of myself in a swanky hotel with Josh and Roy of Stone Sour (Roy also used to drum for Soulfly). I look like a gimp....but still, it's Josh and Roy! Shibby.

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a322/prisoner_of_society/stonesour-1.jpg

[Grumma]

We all know Corey's the only important member of Stone Sour

[Jake]

I only really liked their first album - there was some catchy stuff on there.

And I don't think I've ever seen him smile..impressive.

[Grumma]

lol.

Ive only ever heard Bother so I cant really judge their music :p

[Jake]

You haven't heard 'Through the Glass' or '30/30 150' ? They were pretty overplayed in Pommyland. Did you like 'Bother'?

[Grumma]

Yeah Bother is a great song.

And nope, haven't heard either of those

[Grumma]

Maaaaaaaaad shit (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDDRyrTBNe8) :cool:

[Evil Chris]

Bump

Matt Barlow has returned to Iced Earth...FUCK YES!!!

Source: http://icedearth.com

[Grumma]

Well that was unexpected.

tbh would've prefered the next Something Wicked album with Owens but ah well

[Evil Chris]

damn, Barlow is Busy, hes Got 2 Bands to play for and his job aswell.

[Grumma]

And by all reports a new born too lol

[Grumma]

Except that Myles Kennedy shits all over their old singer

haha I win!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xgfEb_lUGg&feature=related

[Burner]

Have a cookie.

[Grumma]

nah I'm rewarding myself with bacon & eggs for brekky ;)

[Evil Chris]

I recently got into Helloween, a band that is indeed Epic. In my opinion, so much better then DragonForce. Look at their song "King for 1000 Years"

You'll understand.

[Grumma]

Helloween are old school

[Burner]

I almost bought a Helloween cd the other day. But i didn't. I didn't know which one to get :(

[Grumma]

Walls Of Jericho or Keep Of Seven Keys (part 1 or 2)

[Burner]

Mempry fails me, but i'm pritty sure there was Walls of Jericho and a compilation with a dvd i tried to choose from.

[Grumma]

yeah it got re-released

[Burner]

You saying Walls of Jericho is a compilation then?

[Grumma]

not the cd itself, no

[Burner]

You mean Walls of Jericho got re-released with a bonus dvd?

[Grumma]

yeah pretty sure it was

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walls_of_Jericho_%28album%29

[Burner]

ah k.

ghjndghj

[Grumma]

I should probably point out that I don't actually own any of their albums, but those 3 seem to get thrown up a lot whenever I've heard Helloween mentioned in a discussion

[Burner]

Well get some. Then recommend me some.

[Grumma]

How'd your Helloween hunting go?

[Kacky]

Trick Or Treat!

[Grumma]

You're a smart one Kacko!

In other news I'm seeing Judas Priest!

[Kacky]

Yes, yes I am!

Good for you. :p

[Matt]

Why the devil is "Hardcore" listed in that poll??

hxc is way not metal :confused:

[Kacky]

Ask Grumma, he was the one who made this thread! :p

[Grumma]

It's there basically to cover all the "extreme" genres of music. Though if I had my time again I'd merge it with metalcore then add in a category for bands like Pantera and Machine Head to split them from thrash or NWOBHM

[|<3|]

I think to most people hardcore and metalcore pretty much sound the same anyway, so you probably should have merge those two.

Have you seen metalocalypse yet? I can watch the episodes over and over and over again without getting sick of them.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/ff/Toki_Wartooth.JPG/180px-Toki_Wartooth.JPG
toki is my favourite.

[Grumma]

I think to most people hardcore and metalcore pretty much sound the same anyway

Yes, yes they do

[Matt]

Yes, yes they do

I hope you're joking.

[Grumma]

She said to most people

[|<3|]

Yeah, i'm not saying that they aren't different, but if you played a metalcore song followed by a hardcore song, a lot of people wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

[worry_rock]

Have you seen metalocalypse yet? I can watch the episodes over and over and over again without getting sick of them.


Haha, my ex boyfriend always tried to make me watch that. Much to my refusal. I mean, he rates Miami Ink as an awesome tv show - so naturally I had my doubts.

[|<3|]

but its awesoomeeee!!