Serious question re: advice yo.

[Caity]

Hi hi.

This is an actual serial question I have for you all.

Okay so.

When my friends & I go out, I usually take photos (as you've prolly seen). I like taking photos. I like looking at my photos later.

I then tend to put the better ones on here/facebook/myspace/wherever, because y'know, that's what you do.

Anyway.

Ages ago, my best friend took it upon herself to go on my myspace and copy all my photos and then upload them to her facebook.
This pissed me off because a) they were my photos and she took them without asking, and b) I didn't particularly want them on facebook.
Now I know that when you put something on the interwebz, you have to accept it'll get seen by everyone but still. It was an attempt.

She also kept hassling me for some photos I'd taken the previous weekend that she wanted. I kept avoiding the subject because I didn't want to give them to her but didn't want to get into a fight or anything. She's not very interwebz savvy or anything - she doesn't really get the whole issue of people being protective of photos and stuff and I knew she wouldn't understand.

Anyway, so after getting cranky within and bitching to people, I sent her an email and said that I didn't want to send the photos to her because they were my photos that I took, and I was a bit hesitant to share them because to me, it felt a little like theft (maybe over reacting but eh). I said that I hoped that as my best friend, she could understand that and leave the issue. And that if she wanted photos of nights out, she could very easily take her own camera and take her own photos.

She replied saying that if I didn't want to share my photos, I shouldn't take my camera along at all. Missed the point.

She then proceeded not to talk to me for the next 4 days. I didn't give her the photos.

I kinda though the issue was over and left it at that, until today she sent me an email asking if I could send her the photos from last weekend and some other ones too "because you have a terrible memory" and she wants to use them to put into a photo album she's making.

I didn't respond because I was cranky again.

My reasoning?
They're my photos which I took for my own memories, my own use. And by rights, I should have a say in what I do with them - I should be able to put them up on Facebook etc and figure that if someone wants to see a photo of my best friend, they can follow the tag things and find them - on my page.
And if I want to give them to other people, I can, but if I don't, it should be enough for me to say that I don't want to.
She doesn't get that though.

So anyway.

Advice on what to do? At the moment I figure if it comes up again, I'm just going to say again that they're my photos, and I own them, and I have every right to say I don't want to share them. and if it means taking every photo off facebook and myspace so she can't take them then I'm prepared to do that because I should be able to do whatever with my own photos.
So ner.




HALP?

[|<3|]

get a new best friend.

[Caity]

That's more difficult than you would think :p

[|<3|]

what you're saying is fair enough - but is it really that important? Can you compromise? Like, say she can use them but make sure she credits you?

having said that - i dont think I could really be friends with someone so precious that would stop talkin to me because of some photos.

[Caity]

That really annoyed me.

I think I won't bring it up.
and if she does then I'll make her come read this thread :p

[|<3|]

If I was in your situation, it wouldn't really annoy me, but I guess the fact that IT does annoy you says something, so maybe you should re-iterate your feelingz.

Because if you don't, she might just keep doing it and you'll just keep get annoyed and the cycle continues.

[Colezy]

God. Can't she just accept that you want them for yourself? Like you said, she should take her own camera if she really must have photos from your nights out.


Gawsh!

[Neo]

well, if she is actually in the photo's then I guess she has some sort of right to see them but if you are in them too and dont want to be seen in them, cut yourself out :p

i dunno maybe its more complicated than that :o

[Ben reed]

me and my friends all share our photos of each other and we dont care if theyre on each others myspaces...

[billygal]

if she was such a good friend she wouldnt be carry on the way she is. If she wants photo's she should take her own camera.

[Burner]

I think you should give her all the photos with her in it or all the photos without you in them. You don't have to give her any of photos that she doens't appear in. And if there are some with you and your friend tell her you don't want her to put them all over the internet without asking you. If there are pics you absolutely do not want on the net them don't give them out at all.

[The Dying Start]

I think she should just come to temrs with the fact you're a greedy selfish photo hoarder and move on.

[private_eye]

i'd stop sooking and give her the photos.... this is such a non-issue that it really shouldn't be a problem! besides, if you often take cameras to places you go, people will probably come to expect that you will take a camera and they won't need to take their own... hence why you should just send her photos!

[Caity]

Okay so she put one of mine up on myspace and i said jokingly, stop stealing my phtoos, and she's like "this one is mine, me and mum played with the sepia tones, i've had it for years, can't remember when i took it" - i'm like, no it's mine, I took it on the last day of year 12 IN sepia. I didn't use colour.
GAH.

Thanks though :D

[Julian]

Pssht who cares?

[Pigmy]

You have every right to keep all photos that she does not appear in, but the ones shes in,the right is lost...

but to the more bigger issue is a couple of photos really worth losing someone who you say is your "best" friend, idk out of all my friends ive only ever had two friends that i have ever called my "best" friends, but only have one now because the other has now became my girlfriend lol. but back to the point i was getting at a best friend to me was someone youd go to extreme lengths for, someone you trust and have a great friendship with and so if she or he means that to you, what you have to ask your self is a couple photos really worth it.

[Amur]

hmm I get what you mean Caity!
it's your camera,it your right to keep every single byte of these photos private. No matter who's on pictures, you can share them only if you want to, not when SOMEONE want you to do that.
Talking about myself - well I often feel something like you do! After shooting something+someone I cannot agree with "hey give me your CF card I'll copy all pictures so I can choose which ones I like and put them somewhere!". Each picture I took is mine,that's it. If I feel like it can be used by me somehow in future (like an artwork,part of artwork etc) then I don't want this one to be used anywhere by anywho with full access by other people.
Who knows,maybe one of these jpg files is your future masterpiece! Don't let anyone to steal your right on it :)

[Caity]

I'm starting to wonder if I should watermark all my photos - the ones I put online ...

[Colezy]

That'll give credit to you, but wont stop people saving them to their computer.

[Caity]

It won't - but at least there won't be the problem of her saying it's her photo when I know it's mine ....

[private_eye]

not to sound sexist or anything (although this will), but this is such a girly girl thing to be havin a fight over...

[Matt]

Agreed, waaaay too much oestrogen itt.

[Colezy]

It's a VERY girly thing to fight over!

[Caity]

Shut up :p
Good thing I'm a girl!

[Colezy]

hahaha, yeah! Imagine if it were a guy posting all this? haha :p

[Fritz]

oohhh caity life is just so hard

[Caity]

I hate you all :p

She just sent me a text asking if I could email her "all the photos that you've taken from the past few months" and she'll email me back the ones from her phone tomorrow.

I replied and said that going back on what I said a few months ago, I don't really want to share my photos and I'll send a few but not all because I understand she wants to make an album. I said that she didn't have to email me the photos from her phone if she chose not too.

I was so nice.

[Caity]

OH MAN I'VE GOT IT.

I should totally replace all the photos on Facebook that I've got with really really really low resolution versions so that if/when she copies them onto her computer, she won't be able to save & print them

[Aaron]

Caity, why do I get the feeling that if this were anyone with less than 100 posts starting a thread like this, you'd be whinging about how 'nobody cares, why don't they get it?' on the elite forum..? :p

[Absolution]

That's not the point though is it? It's the principle of the thing! :D

[Caity]

Thank you Absolution person, I love you already.

So I've had discussions with my brother, who is a professional photographer (and mostly likely where I got my paranoia from) and we've got a plan.

I am resizing the images I have on Facebook, and making them really really low res and putting in a little watermark - not one of the HUGE ones that takes over the photo, just a little one down the bottom. I highly doubt she would crop them to get rid of them, she wouldn't know how to use a tool like that if you paid her.
And they're so low res they'd look crap if you printed them.

So I shall replace all my photos on Facebook with crappy low res ones. It annoys me that I have to do it but eh. Might help.

I don't know if she's saved any of them prior to this but here's hoping not. She doesn't have internet at home only work so I don't think so.

[Colezy]

That seems to be taking it a bit far. They're just happy snaps, not professional shots.
If you don't want to give them to her, then don't. Simple as that.

That's just my opinion.

[Caity]

Yeah I know :p and I wouldn't :p but if they're on facebook, she'll copy & paste to her computer regardless of whether I send them or not.

[Absolution]

Thank you Absolution person, I love you already.
I have a name btw...it's Kim, and yes I'm a guy, and yes I am currently single and looking for love... :p

So I shall replace all my photos on Facebook with crappy low res ones. It annoys me that I have to do it but eh. Might help.

I don't know if she's saved any of them prior to this but here's hoping not. She doesn't have internet at home only work so I don't think so.
Now there's an idea. I reckon the watermark's probably the better option alone though, just adds that recognition of where the photos came from. So you get the cred, your friend the pictures, and we're all happy.

[Caity]

OH BUT.
I found out that facebook has this neat feature where you can exclude certain people from viewing certain albums .... :p

And hey Kim ;)

Baha.

[Absolution]

H-hi...*blush*

haha, anywho...
Somehow, I doubt the feature will stop your 'friend' complaining about the original pics though. Still, good to know for future photos I spose.

[|<3|]

i made up a song

caitlin is a middle class white girll with no problems so
she has to make up fake problems, oh,
and then she will have troubles
and soon they will be double.

oh, pokey outey tongue face
pokey outey tongue face
you just can't replace
that pokey outey tongue face
:p :p :p :p

[Caity]

Oh lolz.
That made my night.

[Amur]

what a talent!:p
I'd say that chorus is awesome.
(and also I have some guesses that song would work even on radio stations :D)

[Trav]

1 Watermark.
2 Copyright / Sue her.
3 Get over it.

Pick one?

[worry_rock]

Hahaha, Caity, what the hell?? I mean I understand that they're YOUR photos that you took and everything, but they're from a night out with your friends. I don't see what the big deal in sharing them is...

[Trav]

Hahaha, Caity, what the hell?? I mean I understand that they're YOUR photos that you took and everything, but they're from a night out with your friends. I don't see what the big deal in sharing them is...

Agreed8910

[May]

1 Watermark.
2 Copyright / Sue her.
3 Get over it.

Pick one?

hahaha Gold

[The Dying Start]

What's the status. Has the world ended yet?

[Quakin Jake]

I always copy photos from peoples Myspaces and put them in my albums. I had no idea people would have a problem with this until now. My whole world has been turned upside down...

[The Dying Start]

Yeah, but you also go to those girls houses and sift through their garbage. I would have thought the restraining orders might have given you a clue...

[|<3|]

just now I stole one of nicole's photos for my icon. I HOPE THAT'S OK!

[Colezy]

Ummm. Actaully, no it's not ok...


Haha, yeah, go for (even tho you already have! :p)

It's your lovely artwork anyway :p